Last Updated on 8th July 2021 by
The saga of our shamed Salesman continues.
Week 1 – He was lucky – no charges were pressed. He was unlucky his fall from grace had been swift and very, very, public and everyone who had been at the convention knew his name and what he had done. If you do not know see https://www.timbercompositedoors.com/fifty-shades-of-grey-doors/ . He had often wondered how when any noteworthy incident occurred, how people could come up with jokes and internet scams virtually overnight – now he knew – as public enemy number one he was on the receiving end of every joke and innuendo going. What made it worse was he made the Trade Press and his phone started ringing with the obligatory requests for quotes all of which he denied. Everyone wanted to ridicule him, in fairness he knew if the tables had been turned he himself would have been one of the first to “put the knife in”
Week 2 – It got worse – he made the national press – his boss who had so far taken it well told him to stay at home
Week 3 – Jeremy Kyle rang inviting him to appear on TV he said no.
Week4 – His boss had had enough too many people ringing the office too much bad publicity – they parted company amicably with the offer of getting his job back in 4 or 5 years.
Week 5 – The boredom set in, he still did not dare leave the house, worse still the dreams started, dreams which were obsessed with images of things “a little under six feet, slim, graceful with curves that looked as if they were engineered to be held and shimmering , shimmering with an almost translucent aura that seemed to follow everywhere.”
Week 6 – He made a decision he had to have his own Solidor doors he placed his order for the front A “Milano” in Anthracite with (and his heart skipped a beat when he ordered it an ES 3 1800 handle) and for the rear a “Pisa” in “duck egg blue” – fleetingly he felt happy.
Week 7 – he waited in anticipation.
Week 8 – he waited – only the anticipation of his new doors keeping him going
Week 9 – they arrived they were installed – they were superb and then disaster – the day after installation with damp cloth in hand he stepped out of his front door turned and began to wipe down the dusty door surface (the only maintenance required on a Solidor door). When it came to the ES3 1800 handle he was engrossed in his task caressing every curve- he did not see the flash – he did not hear the sniggering laughter. When his evening newspaper arrived the horror hit him like a train – front page headline – “He’s at it again!” and his photograph caught in the act of caress – it was all about to start again.
Week 10 – no wages – no hope desolation took over his every he now had a beard through lack of wanting to shave, he looked unkempt, he felt unkempt, he was depressed and the dreams had turned to nightmares.
Week 11 – He kicked himself into action and started to ring his network of contacts – when they had stopped laughing at him they all had the same message “come back in a year” –“two years” etc
Week 12 – He had made up his mind that the cause of his problems was to be the solution, Solidor, it had been his downfall and it could equally be his resurrection. He booted up his lap top which had sat idle for weeks found the web site and read everything there was to know about their product. When he discovered that they only sold through approved Suppliers and Installers his heart fell but he was not to be deterred as he set about making a list of all those in his area.
Week 13 – Rather than telephone he decided he would turn up at the doors of his chosen companies and request an interview – CV clutched in hand his quest began and very quickly ended – they all knew who he was – end of story.
Week 14 – Last chance he thought go to Solidor – so he did – the receptionist who took his call listened patiently – “nice girl he thought” but it was an awful line “I’ll put you through to our Human Resources Department “ she retorted he waited for what seemed an eternity as the receptionist explained to Human Resources the reason for his call. He heard the receiver click and before he could speak a second female voice interjected, “Good morning Sir, we know who you are” – his heart hit his feet – not again he thought – the voice continued “ I am actually sitting here with our MD, Sir and he would like a word with you”. He heard her pass the phone over , he heard the sound of a deeper tone of breathing he knew he had one chance to get his point across but he would have to be quick “Sir” he blurted out his voice starting to quiver he repeated his name and instantly he heard the muffled snigger – followed by “the man who loves our ES3 1800 the one that is a little under six feet, slim, graceful with curves that looked as if they were engineered to be held ” and what can I do for you”
Quickly with his voice now clearly shaking our man spoke again “ I love your products so much I need to sell them I can do it, I know everything about them” .For a few moments there was silence and then “how? How would you sell them – your reputation is shot?”
Stunned our man muttered “I am the best Door salesman you could wish to find” his voice trailing off before he reached the end of the sentence.
Again there was silence and then speaking slowly and deliberately the man on the other end of the phone spoke – “There is only one person and one company who can help you get your life back on the rails –– here is his number – but – you will have to relocate and relearn every technique you have ever known – if anyone can help you he can, our conversation is over.”
Week 15 was to be a whole new adventure he was already looking forward to the future and renewing his acquaintance with something a little under six feet, slim, graceful with curves that looked as if they were engineered to be held
